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emotions comeback intervention time


Wednesday, June 2, 2010 !@#$% 4:19 AM

COME BACK

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2, 2010


I wish I could believe that

I wish for so many things, it's not even funny. When people come to me or tell me that the guy they like doesn't like them, or they broke up. I say the same things over and over, and in my head, it makes sense. In my head it seems as though what I'm saying is correct. But I didn't really know how it would be like if I were to be in their shoes. That's something I'm terrible at. I don't necessarily consider the other person point of view, unless it's happened to me.

"If it's meant to be, it'll be", "time will heal", "you can do so much better", "he's not worth it".
All those little sayings, are things I say over and over again to people. But, how come I never take my own advice? How come when this kind of stuff happens to me and I say those things to myself, I never get to believe it. "Time will heal" yeah, time does heal, but it can always leave a scar. I don't get it, how can someone put you down so bad, is this karma?
Because, I liked him so much and all he said was "I don't want to go back in that direction"?! That's like a whole year and a few months worth of my infatuation, or of my love? How come I was so stupid into letting you in, how come it's so hard to get over someone?
You . have . no . idea.
how much that line hurt me, what's that supposed to mean? You don't want me? You can't return my feelings? Yeah well, you make me feel like shit.
You make me feel stupid.

I know now that, those little lines that are supposed to make someone feel better. Doesn't. Unless you have proof, unless I can actually witness it. I won't believe it, because it won't make me feel any better. There are people who tell all their problems to others, but I don't.
Well, I wouldn't say so, unless I really wanted to talk about it. But now, I don't think I'm going to talk about my problems much anymore because people can't do much about it. They can't make me feel better, no matter how hard they tried, and cared.

I just wish that you were here. No.
I just wish you cared, that's all I ask for. I just want you to care, I just want you tonotice me, I just want to know that I actually exist. I just want to mean something to you.. What happened to what we said before you left? Was it all nothing to you? I should get over you, I know I should, but it's so hard to get over someone ..
If only you cared, if only you knew.

;adrii


(To Infinity, & Beyond. )