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Wednesday, May 26, 2010 !@#$% 3:32 AM
don't you ever guys ever look back at the past? where everything was great ? i've been having those childhood flashbacks ever since last week.. i've realized that , those who i was/were close to are extremely different .. some are different in good ways and some are different in bad ways.. but the thing is that , i don't know how it turned out this way. how everything just changes in a flick of a finger. it's extremely unbelievable how things just change out of no where. and those who you use to be close to just suddenly disappear. and now you just walk pass eachother like you's don't even know eachother. i hate that feeling of losing the ones i love. and i have to be honest with you's , that i've lost a few. and some, i'm just completely amused on how different they are. i wish that i could turn back time and just feel that love/great feeling of happiness again. with the friends i use to love / be close to. the group of friends changes all the time.. and it's sad how you can't ever turn back time and replay that moment of your life. i use to think that , all the friends i make would stay with me forever. but as i got older , i learnt that you have to hold them tightly and not let them slip away.. that sometimes , friendship doesn't stay and it just fades away slowly then somehow .. it disappears. you sometimes just sit back and flip through all the old photo's. wondering wow , how different we all were. like they say , " a picture means a thousand words". it really does. and even if i can't replay that moment of my life anymore , i want to at least be able to talk to you like i use to. i miss the old person you were , how we would just randomly become retarded people when we're together.. how we would laugh at just about anything that was infront of us. those sleep overs we had , the secrets we shared. now everything is just different. i want to be able to know who you still are to me. and right now i have no idea what to say or do. even if you've done many bad / unexpected things .. i can't just hate you or judge you from what you've done. but only support you and love you . we stopped talking yes? and now i'm trying my best to start talking to you again so that you're not the new bad person you are now. you make me angry at how you can't stand or talk for yourself or even tell me what's been happening. but don't worry , i don't blame you for doing so. i can't hate you , i'll still love you as much as i loved you before. i just hope that .. we'll grow to become the 2 people we were before. because clearly i'm missing it terribly. i want things to be the same.. The way it use to be. xo |