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emotions comeback intervention time


Monday, March 29, 2010 !@#$% 4:09 AM

have you ever had those days , were everything just stuffs up ? . like everysingle thing in your life , that you thought you still had ? . im having so much trouble , with family , friends. it all just happens at once you know ? , i just cant handle how much things i have to go through.last night i felt so much pain .. right in the center of my chest.i wish people could understand , on how much im trying .. and how much i want to help them.Though everything that i do , it doesnt mean anything..; does anyone know im trying ? , like im trying so hard to make everybody happy.i have to chase those who are angrily angry at me. when i did absolutely nothing i then still have to chase yous and apologize for things i havent done , or things i know i`d never do.and from now on im not going to chase after yous anymore if your angry at me im just going to let it be because you know waht ? im sick of going after yous.i wish yous knew how things are for me , all you do is just jump into conclusion and decide everything yourself.yes , i cant change your minds i have no right too. but if im such a bad friend to you why do you always come to me for help? when you know that im useless ? i guess its my fault for trying , for trying so hard to help you.. yet none of yous appreciate anything.i barely sleep . i just dont have the courage to forget everything and just act like its all alright when it is when its not.yous are probably thinking , " oh yeah she`ll come back .. " well im not anymore. im sick of this , im sick of everything. the world now revolves around so much shit . the worlds mental. no wonder why , there so much disasters .. its maybe because the worlds trying to tell you something , that yous are all selfish. only thinking about yourselves and no one else.. not caring about others feelings , well im sorry . for not being the best i can . what is family ? i really have no meaning to this word that use to mean so much.i dont feel like i have parents , but thats storys long and irritating.so i wont go into the story of my family household life. its just to bad to be told , i only tell those who are close to me.. and out of all those who i thought would always be there for me , when the world suddenly shuts down .. i was wrong , out of many ; only one or two stands out. i've realized not many are there for me when i need them the most. i dont blame them i guess i gotta find my way to conclude everything.i feel heaps of emptiness , every now and then. i hate the fact that the ` use to be` close people are slowly fading themselves away. your probably think waht the hell is she talking about ? .. well , thats what i mean when i say no one understands . i just wish , that i could have a happy life like others .. im not asking for happiness , and perfection . i just want those who i wish loved me , noticed how much i need them.


(To Infinity, & Beyond. )